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The biggest mistake that we tend to make when finding solutions for our problems is to think about the same old solutions.However, if those old solutions worked, the problem would not still be around.
The following are some guidelines that can help you find the best solution to your problem.
For example, if you picked the solution, “blame my coworkers for work that isn’t done”, this might solve your problem right now, but it will probably seriously affect your relationship with your coworkers, and in the long-run your boss will probably find out.
The costs of this solution seem to outweigh the benefits.
REMEMBER: There is no perfect solution, so when you are judging each potential solution it is unlikely that it will meet all four criteria.
For example, if you overslept in the morning and are going to be late for work, you might decide to call work and explain your situation while getting dressed and ready in half the usual time.
Problems become more difficult when there is no obvious solution and strategies that you have tried in the past don’t work.These types of problems cause a great deal of stress and anxiety and require new and different strategies.As a first step, it is important to realize that there is a problem.Smoothing or harmonizing can result in a false solution to a problem and can create feelings in a person that range from anger to pleasure.Accommodators are unassertive and cooperative and may play the role of a martyr, complainer, or saboteur.If you know how you are going to carry out your solution, you are more likely to follow through.Your plan should include all the steps that you will need to take to carry out the solution, and it should be as specific and concrete as possible.For example, with the work problem, you might use your workload as a marker for tracking your solution.If you notice that your workload is going down, then your solution is probably working. Because the unexpected happens in life, sometimes even the best solutions don’t work out well, which is unfortunate but normal. In a dispute, it's often easier to describe how others respond then to evaluate how we respond. We can gain a better understanding of the impact that our personal conflict style has on other people.With a better understanding, you can make a conscious choice on how to respond to others in a conflict situation.